Chatter · Life

The Lost Translation

I ran kinda ran outta photos, or rather motives worth capturing, for today, so I thought I tell you a story instead. You see, my native language is German. Yes, I had English in school, but I would not call that English in the sense of how native speakers would speak it. It was more like tourist English, like “hello, my name is James, where are the toilets please”. Useful like a hole in the head, right?! I started to learn real English from native speakers at the end of the nineties. Well it started at that time and it was a long fun journey, but ones you obtained that skill you will notice that there is something wrong with the entertainment industry….

Most of the stuff we watch on TV or our streaming services is made in one of the English speaking countries and therefor the original tone is English. The first time I noticed that something was wrong was when I was watching the movie Ice Age first time in it’s original tone AFTER I had watched it in German a few time. Woah! In English it was a whole different movie. Not only did I not have to endure that super annoying voice of Otto Waalkes who did the voice over for one of the heros, no, a lot of the dialogs where different and there where tons of jokes in the movie that I didn’t get with the German version. Someone messed up the translation big time.

From there I started to watch every show and movie I cared about in English whenever I got the chance. Often here in Germany they do not let you have the chance. They force you to watch the crappy German translation. Amazon often gives you a choice and I appreciate that a lot. The German streaming service doesn’t, but a lot of the modern series are translated in a way that you can still hear the original tone and then you get the really crappy German translation, what makes it worth. You hear every wrong translation and every time they just totally change what is said.

But the most hilarious totally wrong translation I ever stumbled over can be found in World of Warcraft, Warlords of Dreanor expansion. My daughter was playing on a German client and my client was English. There was this quest called “For the Bird”. The right translation would have been “Für die Vögel”. Very simple, right? You could think so, I mean even Google can translate that correct. But nope, in the German client it was named “Gut zu Vögeln”. If you translate that literally you would get “Friendly to Birds” buuuut and this this a huge BUT, “gut zu vögeln” is German slang for “good to have sex with”. What where they thinking? I doubt Blizzard ever found out.

Chatter · Life

Influencer Influenza

Mom trying to be funny again

So there is this German TV show, very small production I think and not even very popular. It’s about spoiled teenagers who get send to a monastery/cloister for a week to get their attitude straight. That includes no cellphones, TV and that like, no smoking, no drugs, no alcohol, no make up, no social media. Instead getting up with the sun and working for their community. I find it quite funny. There was this elderly nun. She must have been in her 80th, totally sweet lady. She was talking to one of the candidates, a 16 years young brat who never did anything useful in her life. The nun asked her what she would like to do with her life, what she would like to accomplish in her life and that girl responded “I want to be an influencer”. The nun looked at her, thinking for a sec and trying to make sense of what she just heard, and then she said: “Oh Influenza, ya that’s not nice to have!” You need to know that both words sound nearly identical. This old nun nailed it without knowing what she did. Influencer are as annoying and useless like Influenza. =p Have a pawesome day everybody and be safe out there. ❤

Dog Stuff

Mad Dawgs and Giggles

Her Royal Cuteness, Miss “Snugglebug” Amilia

This story is about preconceptions and how life proves them wrong in a very funny way. I think most of us are not free of preconceptions, right? I mean, I see a tax officer and think “quick, shoot it”, but I’m sure there are fair and kind tax officers out there . . . somewhere . . . maybe . . . naaa just shoot it. This was a stupid example but I’m sure you totally get what I mean, right? It happened last week. Ami had a walkies date with her best buddy Mr. D. He is the most adorable apple head chihuahua. Yes, this combo seems odd, a rather chunky (don’t tell her I said that) Old English Bulldog and this 15 cm / 6 inches bundle of cuteness, but they complete each other somehow. He is a huge dog in a tiny body and Ami is a tiny dog in a huge body. So we where walking through the local nature preserve. The path there can get pretty narrow at some points, less than a meter, so we where walking one after another, Ami and I first, Mr. D and his mom right after us.

His Royal Cuteness, Mr. “Maximum Carnage” D

We where just at a especially tight spot when a woman with a beautiful border collie came from ahead. As she walked closer she first looked at Ami and then she asked me “is it dangerous?”. And I’m like yes totally savage, be aware. Inside I was rolling my eyes at her. So she sneaked by on tiptoes. Ami didn’t even look at them, totally boring to her. And then they reached Mr. D . . . . GROWLROARDROOLSNARLGROWL!!! He totally made clear that he is no nonsense and that he doesn’t appreciate people looking funny at us. 6 inches total savageness. *grins* I love that little guy so much. Ami does too. And that woman maybe learned something. Things often are not what they look like. Have a pawesome day everybody and be safe out there.

Dog Stuff

How to …

I’m giggling, I swear!

First we’ll have to give you some background information or you’ll not get the point. *giggle* Here in Germany we’ve got several parcel delivery services, ranging from very good down too total failure. The best of all of them is UPS, super faster, always friendly and very tidy, they are followed by the buys from Amazon, oh I love these guys, they work so hard, are always on time and always friendly and competent. Then there is a large void stretch. Well, then comes DHL, they are a left over from the state owned mail service, slow, rude, incompetent, unreliable. They are followed by a bunch of tiny lesser knows services like DPD and DLS. As private person you hardly ever see those. End of line, right? Nope, there is still Hermes, the most horrific parcel “courier” ever. They are never on time, stuff often gets lost and never arrives, they are beyond rude, they look like thugs and their vans are actually not fit for traffic anymore. If and that is a hug IF a parcel transported by them actually makes it to your door, it looks like a cattle herd walked over it. Twice!

Okies, we where on our walkie and there was that Hermes guy, package in hand, crawling along in slow motion. Ami starts to stare at him and as he is very close I tell her, loud enough that he can hear me, “leave it babes, you had lunch already” . . . and that is how you can make a Hermes courier walk significantly faster. *giggle*

Don’t forget to hug your doggo, be safe out there and have a pawesome day. =)